Planning affordable funerals – difficult topic, worthwhile cause

Caspar David Friedrich

Caspar David Friedrich

Today I’m donning a different hat and adopting a different persona – that of Administrator for the Memorial Society of the Hudson-Mohawk Region, Inc. We’re an affiliate of the national Funeral Consumers Alliance, the leading advocacy organization for consumers of funeral services – and sooner or later, this means everybody. Death and funeral arrangements aren’t at the top of people’s to-do lists. Accordingly, many of us fail to plan adequately, and when death strikes unexpectedly, the sudden stress leads us to spend far more than necessary.

This summer, America’s reluctance to confront the difficult topics of death and dying has been front and center in the vehement attacks on proposed health care reform. The notion of funding consultations between physicians and their patients about end-of-life issues has triggered mass hysteria with talk of death panels and pulling the plug on grandma. Discussion of funerals and after-death services is apt to provoke even greater avoidance and denial.

Also this summer, our society has wallowed in the media overload surrounding two high profile deaths, memorial services and funerals – those of Michael Jackson and Ted Kennedy. Like millions of others, I was riveted by the television coverage, first of Jackson’s moving memorial service with its magnificent musical performances and orations, and then by the somber and dignified services for Kenndy in a rain-swept Boston church and then at Arlington National Cemetery. Both events were lavish affairs, and we were treated to endless views of the splendid coffins – gold, in Jackson’s case – the floral tributes, and the black limos in the funeral corteges.

Few Americans have that kind of fortune to spend. Many want simple but dignified funerals, but they’re often too embarrassed or ill-informed to ask for them. I’ve spoken at many senior centers and residences, including some for people on Medicaid with very limited incomes, and most people there expect to pay a minimum of five or six thousand dollars for an average funeral. Often that’s been the going rate for their friends and relatives, so they assume that’s what they’ll have to spend, when in fact a dignified funeral and burial can cost thousands less.

 Helping people become informed funeral consumers and educating them about their options are major goals of the Memorial Society. We also contract with funeral homes throughout the Capital District to offer affordable rates to our members. Although we’ve been in existence since 1964 and have a membership of over 1,000, we’re still a well kept secret. I’m planning to help change that by spreading the word online. Within a month, I plan to have a Memorial Society blog up and running. I think I’ll use the same WordPress theme I’m using here – the bridge over the autumnal stream is as apropos for a funeral consumers organization as it is for my mystery novels.

I became Administrator for this non-profit, non-denominational organization several years ago at the invitation of then-President Therese Broderick, a fine poet who comments here occasionally. At the time I was looking for a little part-time job to help pad my retirement income a bit, but I found much more than that. How much more, I’ll describe in my next post, when I write about how the Memorial Society helped us cope with an unexpected death in our own family.

To learn more about the Memorial Society, go to www.funerals.org/affiliates/albany.htm or e-mail me at memsoc1@nycap.rr.com.  

The Funeral Consumers Alliance website, www.funerals.org, is a wonderful resource for information on funeral issues. For those not in the Albany area, it also includes a directory of affiliates nationwide and in Canada.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karen Walker
    Sep 08, 2009 @ 18:28:32

    I’m very interested in this, Julie and look forward to more information. Thanks.
    karen

    Reply

  2. stephen tremp
    Sep 08, 2009 @ 19:01:01

    I was on Costco the other day, only to notice they sell coffins there. For under $1,000. I think that’s cheap.

    Me, just dig a hole in the backyard and plop me in it. Don’t forget to put the dirt back on top. I don’t want coyotes and other critters snacking on me.

    Stephen Tremp

    Reply

  3. Therese L. Broderick
    Sep 09, 2009 @ 15:20:18

    Julie, you are doing a super job for the Memorial Society of the Hudson-Mohawk Region, a very worthy cause. A new Memorial Society blog is a great idea. I still get distressed every time I think of an embalmed body sealed inside a casket, taking up ground space in a cemetery. Give me a clean, no-fuss green burial, please. Keep up the good work that you do.

    Reply

  4. Patricia Stoltey
    Sep 09, 2009 @ 18:58:04

    My husband and I recently advanced the cost of cremation and burial expenses including the grave marker for an elderly relative for whom we held the health power of attorney. This was Southern California, but even so, I was shocked at the cost. Most of the decisions had been pre-arranged by our relative so we had little say in the planning part. We were reimbursed by the estate, of course, and in a way it was good we had to take that extra step because it was an education in how things have changed since the last time I arranged a funeral (1983).

    Reply

  5. Jane Kennedy Sutton
    Sep 10, 2009 @ 10:33:12

    This is certainly a topic we are all going to face. Thanks for the reminder that we shouldn’t leave arrangments until it’s too late or leave all those decisions to grieving family members.

    Reply

  6. julielomoe
    Sep 12, 2009 @ 12:56:04

    Thanks to Steve, Therese, Karen, Patricia and Jane for your comments. Steve, the “hole in the ground in the back yard” is viable if you do it discreetly for dogs (my husband and I have buried three dogs this way) but for people? Not now. Green burial’s a growing trend, though.

    Reply

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